Gay or not Gay?

About six months ago we had a very nice couple stay with us. They enjoyed their stay and it was a pleasure to have them as our guest. A few weeks after they left I was pleased to see they had written such a nice review of us on Trip Advisor. But, I was a bit puzzled by the last line of their review: "Just a comment: if you are not comfortable around Gay men, you should probably look elsewhere." There is no hiding that fact that I am gay, and no reason to hide it. But, I wonder who where the other gay men they were talking about? True, we had a gay couple in another hotel room and for sure there are going to be some gay people at Linga Bar, but they are customers just like all of our guests. I did not respond to this at the time because it is true, if you don't like gay people then you may not be our kind of guest. Recently we had another guest make a similar comment: Loved the hotel but noted about the gay people. So, now I was left to wonder, did these two different guests mistakenly think the staff are gay? That happens often at Linga Bar. The customers assume these cute, friendly Cambodian guys working at a gay owned bar must be gay. Well, that is why I am writing this blog entry to set this issue "straight."

I currently have 20 staff working for me in the bar, hotels and spa. Out of this number there is only one staff member that would be identified as gay. All of the rest are straight, and believe me I know because I know who they are dating, who they are married to or who they are interested in. If I could only get them as excited about getting cute guys in the bar as they are in looking for cute girls, we would be much more successful. Once again, it appears that my all-male staff are guilty of being gay by association to me and the bar. The main reason I feel this happens is that Cambodian men are very sweet, gentle and very kind. Many of our hotel guests are overwhelmed by how wonderfully friendly they are. But, Cambodian men just don't show a Western macho side, it is just not there nature. And when it comes to gay acceptance, they are refreshingly unencumbered by homophobia, macho hang ups or what other people perceive. It may be difficult for Westerns to understand this, but Cambodians generally grow up in very close quarters, and closely linked with their surrounding community. And without any stigma (i.e. Catholic guilt) issues, they are happily who they are. I have had to correct many customers, on many occasions, who assumed the staff were gay. They found it hard to believe these sweet guys were straight but after four years I know.

One story I like to tell to point out just how differently masculinity is viewed here is that one night a long time ago I went with my staff to a local dance club. I really do not care for the place as the music is lousy but I went to be with the staff. The style of this place is that they will play some upbeat dance music and then switch to some slow dance songs. When they switched to the slow songs, couples came out to dance together. So, I am watching this scene when I see two of my male staff slow dancing together! I know for a fact they are both straight so why would they be dancing together like this? Well, the answer is easy, there are not many girls they could ask to dance with since the guys out number the girls. So, what should they do, not enjoy a slow dance or enjoy it together? I can not imagine this same scene playing out in a club in the US. Straight guys in the US are just not very likely to slow dance with each other. Here, it is no big deal as they know it does not make any difference to their sexual preference if they dance with another guy. It is this attitude that is so refreshing. That is why our gay customers feel so at ease here because they are welcomed completely.

So, am I running a Gay hotel? Not at all. We have not done any marketing towards gay guests, ZERO. Why? It is not necessary. We are here to run a beautiful, unique hotel experience and we welcome all guests regardless. So, naturally, most of our guests are straight and with no gay marketing about 25% of our guests are gay. But more importantly, as I have said before, we have the nicest guests. And the fact that we have had two guests over the last six months mention about gay people is beside the point, since they enjoyed their stays. I will say these guests skewed into the older age bracket for our guests. Our guests tend to be in early 30's to mid 40's age range. When we have had older guests, I am always sensitive to making sure they are comfortable and happy. One lovely couple that stayed with us sometime ago were a retired couple from Portland. I wondered if they would enjoy the vibrancy of our location. Sure enough, they told me the live in the downtown Portland area and routinely walk from their house to go shopping, eating etc. I was talking to the husband and he told me they just came from scuba diving in Phuket and when they get back they have scuba diving trips scheduled for Mexico and South America. I was worn out just listening to their schedule!

The final issue I wanted to address is Linga Spa. The last guest that mentioned about gay men also mentioned that she could not go to the hotel spa as it was "men only." Well, that is false on both accounts. First of all, it is not the hotel spa for either The One Hotel or Hotel Be. It is a separate business that is housed in the complex. Yes, our target market for Linga Spa is the gay market. Why? Because there are about 15-20 other spa/massage places within a couple of blocks of us and none of them cater to this market so we have it all to ourselves. It is a small spa and not big enough to market to all types of customers. That said, we do use it to accommodate our hotel guests when needed. We have used the largest of our three rooms to do a "Couples Massage" for guests from The One Hotel. And, we had three ladies from Singapore staying in a room at Hotel Be that we were able to accommodate at Linga Spa.

So, are we all clear now? I hope so. Everyone is welcome here, always. But probably the only gay guy you will meet here, except for some Linga Bar customers, is me. Come and see for yourself!