Tha Thimanit

The first anniversary is soon approaching for an event that I wish I could put out of my mind: The death of my best friend in Cambodia and my best staff member Tha Thimanit. Last September 4th was one of the worst days in my life, when I found out Manit had died in a motorbike accident. There are so many reasons why this hit me so hard. Of course it was because I cared so much about him but also because I have been so lucky in my life. Everyone that was near and dear to me that had passed on, like relatives or friends, had died of old age or as expected by long illnesses. Never had there been a sudden loss of someone so close to me. Just earlier that day I had spoken to Manit about some things we need to fix in The One Hotel. He came to my house and I told him what we should do. Late that night I was at the bar when his Uncle came and told Sima (his best friend) about the accident. Sima came running back into the bar and exclaimed, "Manit die!" Stunned, I told Sima to go and find out. But, no word came by the time we closed the bar I went home feeling empty and confused. At some point I wrote out an email to my family and friends describing how this was the my worst day in Cambodia (and not to mention Manit's worst day). I drank myself to sleep that night hoping against hope that the news was not true.

The early morning brought the bleary-eyed reality. My staff came to ask me to go with them to the temple where Mani's body laid in rest. I went but was not much more than a zombie. Somewhere early on in the morning I began crying, and there was very little that day that could stop the flow of tears. How did Manit die? The story was that he had gone outside of Siem Reap with some friends and was coming back on Highway 6 that night and, in Cambodian style, had three people on the motorbike. He went to pass a car and collided head on with another motorbike with three adults on it. At 50km per hour (30mph) that would have been an impact at 100km per hour and not a single person wearing a helmet. Manit died instantly I was told, and I believe either 3 or 4 of the six people on the motorbikes died. For those of you who do not know, Camboian traffic, and traffic laws, are a joke. No regulation, no education, no enforcement etc, etc makes for a very bad situation. I had talked to Manit and other staff members (who had accidents) about how to drive more safely, defensively etc. In Manit's case, we had gone to Phnom Penh where I loaned him the money to buy a bigger motorcycle. I rode on the back of the bike with him on the way back to Siem Reap. I kept telling him along the way that he was driving too fast. His response was that it had a good motorcycle and that he was a good driver. I tried to explain that it is not about your motorbike or ability, because there is so much you can not control: like a dog running into your path (or cows here), a child and their ball, other drivers who are not paying attention. You are only as safe as your ability to anticipate and react to what others are doing. But when you are young and feel like you will live forever, the message is not easy to get through. But to this day I know that I tried.

For that first day, I will be forever grateful for the friends that came and paid their respects to Manit and offered their support to me: John and Narisa McDermott were so very kind, Nick Downing from Hotel de la Paix, Dirk de Graaff from Golden Banana Boutique and others who I am sure I am forgetting. I was a mess and yet felt the warmth of their friendship and their appreciation of what Manit meant to them. Later that first day, after spending most of the day at the temple I decided that we would go ahead and open Linga Bar that night. What else where we going to do, sit around and look at the walls and do nothing? No, I felt it best to be together with all of the staff and it was the right idea as we made a small memorial for Manit and many of our friends stopped by to offer their condolences and spend some time with us. It certainly was not about the revenue as I could have cared less. We served drinks to our friends that stopped by but would not take any payments. If they wanted, they could donate to a fund that we would give to Manit's family to help them during this difficult time. Here is a picture from that night: